White coat. Heels.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
