no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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