Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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