i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
