Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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