i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Enjoy the penises
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
