Please, let me fuck your mom
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
