he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
false alarm, still single
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
