No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
