help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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