My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
