She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
