Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
what day is it and did you see me today?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
