i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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