I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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