Me too!
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
