used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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