You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Duck Duck Cougar?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize