so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it because I queefed?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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