mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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