don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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