I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
