so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i need some magic done to my vagina
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
