Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
