Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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