Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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