well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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