im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
