he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize