My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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