considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize