you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
sarcasm needs its own font
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
