Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize