If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
