Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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