so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
