Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
