Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize