She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
