Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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