he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
