these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
