the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You've changed since you got that strap on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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