after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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