is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
