You're so nebulous sometimes
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize