ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
