Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
