okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
