I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
