I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
