hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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