I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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