When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
