so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
