are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
