I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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