We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
