I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
