that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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