I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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