After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
