there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize