I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
