i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
