He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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