so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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