i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize